THE DONNY DOLL

So adorable! Just look at those cute little hands. She even cries when you don’t pay her enough attention. Coming soon (like, really really really soon): Poopy Pants Trump with real diapers!

TRUMP TREE TOPPER

In an unidentified Universe somewhere, we know this exists, and we’re quite sure it sells well. This just totally makes that tree, doesn’t it?!

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.

TRUMP AND FRIENDS

Your kids will love this. He’s so helpful.

TRUMP DREIDEL

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made it out of clay! (certainly the feet)

TRUMP GREETING CARDS

What have you got to lose?! Woof, woof!

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.

TRUMP HOLIDAY STEAKS

Oh wait, Trump Steaks is no longer in production. Just another failed Trump enterprise. But the ketchup looks good.

SAINT TRUMP LIGHTS

No Christmas tree is complete without them. Too bad they don’t exist.

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.

TRUMP HAIR BIKINI

An incredibly rare offering. This silky smooth two-piece bathing suit is made with genuine Trump hair.

TRUMP-INSPIRED KWANZAA SHIRT

Just in time for Kwanzaa comes this limited edition Trump dashiki, direct from suppliers in West Africa. Nguzo Saba!

DECK OF LIES: THE TRUMP PACK

Yes, this is the only thing that’s actually real and for sale on our list, so your selection has already been made for you!

CLICK HERE FOR HOLIDAY FUN

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.