1. NOPE, NOT AN ALIEN CREATURE

Despite this thought-provoking and convincing billboard in Mexico (the work of amazing artist Mitch McConnell), Donald Trump is not an alien monster from another world. Yes, we know the conspiracy theories abound about his “true self” and his real reason for wanting power, but our crack research team here in the Deck of Lies Bunker has concluded— after a thorough investigation— that Donald Trump is in fact 100% human. We know that will come as a surprise to many, and some will continue to doubt our findings, but it is what it is: human.

2. TRUMP IS NOT AN EAR OF CORN

Yes, this photo (courtesy of the team at borepanda.com), has raised much concern and has sparked a number of popular internet conspiracies that ask important questions: Exactly what are the vegetables up to? How far has farm produce gone in its bid to seize control of the human world? Is Trump involved somehow? Indeed, it’s food for thought. But our research shows (see #1 above) that while the coloring may be close and the hair a dead give away, Trump is not an ear of corn. Besides, if he was farm produce, he’d be far more likely to be a fruit.

3. TRUMP IS NOT EUGEN SANDOW

There has been much speculation that Donald Trump is in fact famed strongman Eugen Sandow. While it is true that they’ve never been seen in the same room at the same time, we have determined that they are in fact different people. Our conclusion is based primarily on the following three incontrovertible facts:
1. Sandow is German and speaks the language fluently. While Trump’s ancestors were German (and went by the surname Drumpf), it’s doubtful Trump knows any German except the words Strudel, Bratwurst, Pretzel, Frankfurter, and Hamburger.
2. Sandow is known as the father of modern bodybuilding. Trump is a fat blob of a man — human, yes, but a blob all the same. 
3. Eugen Sandow died in 1925.

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.

4. POPE TRUMP?

Another popular Internet conspiracy theory that we have concluded is entirely unfounded has it that Donald Trump is actually German-born Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger, Pope Benedict XVI. We scoured the archives, and our team has not found any evidence to support this claim— beyond a few doubtful photos and Trump’s heartfelt claim that no one (no one living or dead) has ever loved the Bible more than he. 

 

5. BORN IN AFRICA?

Allegations that Donald Trump was actually born in Africa have sparked some of the more controversial conspiracy theories in the last few years. It has been said that Trump’s “King of the Birthers” reign— his five-plus years spent suggesting that President Obama was born in Africa— was a desperate ruse to divert attention away from similar claims about his own heritage. The recent discovery of this photo certainly did little to quell those rumors. Though of course we can’t be 100% accurate, the exhaustive research of our team of experts has concluded that this photo is most likely a fake.

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.

6. TRUMP, RUBY AND OSWALD?

While the timing makes little sense, not a few people have been convinced by this rarely seen photo that Donald Trump was there in Dallas in 1963 when Jack Ruby killed Lee Harvey Oswald. Again, our Deck of Lies team cannot confirm the authenticity of this photo. We doubt that it is genuine— but it does make us wonder.

7. SANG BACKUP FOR ZEPPELIN?

The discovery of a rare studio outtake from what appears to be early Led Zeppelin recordings has sparked rumors that Donald Trump may have sung backup with the band. This recently discovered early version of “Immigrant Song,” a 1970 hit single written by Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, includes Trump in the background. Our researchers have been unable however to independently verify these claims, and neither Trump nor Zeppelin are talking about it today. It is important to note that final versions of the song dd not include Donald Trump. Listen for yourself to this outtake.

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.

8. AN OLD OLD OLD MAN

One noteworthy bit of speculation has it that Donald Trump is considerably older than he claims to be— by many decades. The outlandish theory appears to be based entirely on this unverified photo of the 1910 Georgetown University Varsity Track Team. One of the athletes (front row, seated) bears a more than striking resemblance to Trump. If true, that would mean Trump is more than 120 years old. Proponents of this idea argue that Trump must have access to some kind of youth serum. Our research team has been unable to substantiate this theory with any real evidence. While the photo is pretty convincing, we question its authenticity.

9. KANYE, TAYLOR AND DON?

It was a previously unreleased version of the now infamous phone call between rapper Kanye West and pop star Taylor Swift (first made public in July 2016) that ignited one of the most talked-about rumors about Donald Trump. Some believe it was actually a three-way call, and that Trump kept interrupting to talk about himself. You can listen to an excerpt below. We’ve been unable to confirm this audio, but have concluded that it is most likely not genuine.

 

10. THAT ONE ABOUT THE DONKEY.

You know the one. Our team of experts has yet to verify the accuracy of this recently unearthed photo, but they’re working on it. Meanwhile, the rumors continue to circulate.

52 LIES. 52 TRUTHS. 52 CARDS.